Just one thing…
VSO recently asked me to give a talk to new recruits on why doing VSO is wonderful and amazing and everyone should do it. I wrote back to them saying that I’d be happy to, but was unsure as to whether I could actually be inspiring, given the sexual harassment/death threat thing, and the depression thing, and oh yes, the dashed expectations of sharing skills and changing lives thing, and perhaps they should think of looking for someone else for now?
I do think that VSO is amazing, and I would and do recommend it. It’s just that my experience was frustrating for many reasons, and it’s still very recent - although, frankly, the craziness of my current job is tinging my memories of my Namibian work with rosy gold. Ask me now! Ask me now!
Anyway, they seemed rather taken aback by my response and suggested a debrief, to take place at a returned volunteer weekend in Birmingham, this weekend. To whit, I will spend a weekend surrounded by people who have finally been let loose in an environment where they can say “When I was in Ethiopia/Ghana/India/Namibia…” until they are blue in the face, and no one will roll their eyes or glaze over.. Oh, the intoxication.
I received an email setting out the schedule for the first day, and it begins with a session entitled “Just one thing…” to which we are encouraged to wear our favourite outfit from our time overseas. I am now wishing that I had spent that vast amount of money on the Herero dress I saw in the window of a tourist shop in Windhoek. My favourite outfit from Namibia was a pair of cut off jeans, a khaki t-shirt from M&S, my Mr Price plastic flip-flops - now sadly defunct, and adrift somewhere in Malawi, and my Ray-Bans, which are so scratched I can no longer see out of them. I’m not sure I’m going to measure up. Perhaps I should take my red satin witch’s hat…
I’m alternately filled with horror and amusement at the idea of this session. I know what many VSOs are like, and they tend to go all gung-ho and dress in splashy African prints and styles that just look outlandish on middle-aged, middle class white women. Then I feel shame at being so bitter and twisted and not entering into the spirit of things as I should. It makes me feel like an errant schoolgirl. I expect I will sit there chewing gum, rolling my eyes, and flicking paper balls at the facilitator.
The scariest part of all is that when I go back to Harborne Hall, it will be over two years since I was last there, and it will feel like five minutes.
Just one thing… How did the time go by so fast?
March 31st, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I have mixed views on VSO. They looked after me well in Vietnam - though my experiences with their office in Hanoi was good and bad.
The posting was great. The planning was great - there actually was a job to do with targets - a lot of other non-vso volunteers were not so well perpared or briefed.
But the wider VSO. Emails all get answered by a standard email. Their website is so old fashioned. They’ve had a recent bash at getting all web2.0 and they have got it horribly wrong. Someone else had to set up a Facebook site for them. Their bloglite new system doesn’t even have RSS etc etc. The things they could do with flickr if they wanted to..
They are a massive organisation and they treat it all like a community centre.
Their returned volunteers stuff is awful. I signed up and seem to get an email very very sporadically - always with only half a dozen jobs all of which are in London. Most events are in London too.
As regards meeting up wtih VSOers - hmm as much as I liked many of them it doesn’t seem like much fun. One day I’d like to do it all again and for all my misgivings I constantly tell other people they should do it too. But that part of my life is gone now - it’s been hard to put it behind me but I’ve put it in context.
There is also nothing worse than people siting around trying to tell each other what marvellous jobs they have done. The best volunteers I found were the cynics - rather than those who wanted to hug the world while singing cum by yah.
I don’t want to become some OAP that still bores people with Vietnam stories. And yes…there is nothing worse than saying…ah yes..when I was in Vietnam we… etc etc
Having said all that I look forward to hearing feedback from Birmingham.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Oh, thank god! I’m glad I’m not the only one. It’s the backslapping that I find so unappealing. It makes me feel a bit grubby. Apart from that I can’t help but wish VSO made more of what actually goes on on the ground - the difficulties organisations face, the day to day niggliness that people have to overcome, the very major problems that affect everything you or your colleagues do, like impending starvation, or AIDS.
A friend of mine had an email from my old boss today, telling her how the mahangu crop in the north of Namibia is buggered, because of too much rain, and that it’s tough for everyone because movement is restricted due to floods and lack of supplies. And here I will be, sitting in a room full of people waving a photogaph, or singing a song, and none of it feels real.
Oh get me - holier than thou! I think coming back is turning out to be more of a challenge than I had imagined.
March 31st, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Hmm. Good luck this weekend.
I’m sure that many people find these things enjoyable/useful - but it’s really not for me. Mainly I think for the reasons you’re both discussing. I’ve done it, I’ve shared my skills and changed lives and now I want to celebrate it. It might not even be like that but that’s how it is in my mind.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Hello!
My name is ann and I wrote you many months ago (8 I think) before starting my placement in Chiang Mai, Thailand - AKA VSO Club Med. I am infinitely interested in your adjustment back to the UK as I am mildly obsessed with what will happen when I am in your shoes in about 16 months. Returning freaks me out! (But I am kind of in love with Thailand at this stage…)
If you met your man during VSO - you are giving me all the hope a 34-year old single volunteer needs!
Keep us updated!
April 1st, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Well I was a 34 year old volunteer while I was in Vietnam and I met my woman - an Aussie volunteer. Hope that help.s
Adjustment? It just takes times - and life is a lot more mundane. And you put on a lot of weight.
I think the trick is to tell yourself: you’re not back forever. If you loved what you did overseas then you can always do it again. I secured an 18 month contract in my current job on my return - after that I will almost certainly be off overseas somewhere.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:36 am
Fearghal - I know what you mean. Was the one you went to all happy-clappy back-slappy?
Hi Ann - I remember you - I’m glad you’re loving Thailand (although, how could you not?) Returning is different for everyone I guess! I thought it would be easy for me because I was ready to come back, and it’s been relatively trauma free, so don’t worry. If your’e not ready, you will probably find a way to stay!
Ourman, Why oh why do you put on so much weight? It’s wrong. As for my wanderlust, I’m lucky that Gordon can work anywhere, so I’m prodding him to try and find work in Singapore!
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:04 am
Weight? Well basically after spending large parts of my first few months in Vietnam on the toilet my weight plummeted. I then kidded myself for the next two and a half years that weight issues were a thing of the past.
Then I returned - found how much better British stodge tasted than I remembered it. Then four months later, when I started feeling breathless and dizzy walking up stairs I went to the docs - she weighed me and it all became apparent.
Long version of this story here:
http://snipurl.com/238ti
I’m now on a diet - stone gone and counting.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:14 am
I didn’t go in the end! Too much faff when living in Scotland.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Just thought - don’t know if I’ll ever get the time but I want to start a vso blog.
Zero effort - just various search engines to uncover news reports and blog posts. Lots of links. Flickr photo sets. Facebook group link.
Nothing written by me except - “found this today…” etc
Hopefully lots of comments by pre/post and current volunteers. What do you reckon?
Just with the aim of showing VSO that the web isn’t something to be scared of and it actually can help.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I think it’s a great idea - I was contacted by a number of people wanting more information. I’d be happy to help out.
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
sounds like a plan. I’ll set something up soon. Basically I’ll add you as a contributer and you can do as much or as little as you like.
Might need some help with links to other VSO blogs that you know of too.
Might see if the person who set up their Facebook group wants to help too.