Living for Disco

I’ve been tagged with a meme by Steve – Our Man in Granada, previously Our Man in Hanoi. I don’t normally do memes (and no, not only because I never get asked to do them) but I liked this one.

So, here are five reasons why I write this blog…

1. I’m an addict. I go through most days looking at events and listening to conversations, wondering how I can write them up, make them funny or interesting. Having a reason to find something to laugh at has been a godsend over the last year, which has been rather difficult. Conversely, sometimes writing posts is cathartic. More than once, it has resulted in tears. I like to think this is a healthy thing, but who knows?

2. I wanted to do something that would inspire me to write on a regular basis, and hand written diaries don’t work for me because I tend to go for the “got up, had a sandwich” approach. Yawn. Also I need the idea of an audience to actually get anything down at all. It must be the exhibitionist in me. The one that drinks too much tequila, clambers over the comatose body of my inhibitions, and makes me pole dance in public.

3. I love the community feel of blogging. I love that people leave comments, and I wish more people would. I know there are people lurking out there, and I’m curious about you all, and why you read this collection of inconsequential ramblings. I also like that people talk about what’s out there that’s interesting, and who is writing good stuff. I’ve discovered a whole world of funny, interesting, talented people out there, I like being part of it, and I’m richer because of it.

4. I like to entertain people. I was a geeky, tongue-tied teenager, and then I discovered that people tend to like you if you can make them laugh. Not that I do it for that any more – I don’t give a crap if people like me or not these days. But it is a fantastic feeling knowing that there are people out there reading what I write, identifying with it and responding to it.

5. I want to have something to look back on, to remember how things looked or felt when I saw or experienced them and not see them through the fuzzy glasses of hindsight.

So, that’s why I blog. Why do you read?

Today, Living for Disco is going to examine the ridiculous things that get debated in Namibia’s parliament. I was going to post something about this a little while ago, but got sidetracked, thankfully, because over dinner on Saturday night, a friend told me about a parliamentary debate that made me go “whhh? Noooo. Not serious? Really? Really? You’re kidding, right?” until he hit me over the head with his garlic naan.

Namibia’s road accident fatality rate is shockingly high. This is partly because people drive like they’re in the Indie 500, and think that overtaking on a blind bend is permitted in the highway code. However, it is also partly due to the fact that driving in Namibia after dark is a dangerous business, because animals tend to jump out into the roads in front of speeding cars. A warthog at 120km per hour can do a horrific amount of damage, and they are only about a foot high. Kudus, on the other hand, will pulverise your vehicle. For those of you who don’t know what a kudu looks like, this is one:
They are fucking huge.

So one of the members of the Namibian parliament suggested, in all seriousness apparently, that because animals cause so many accidents, then they should all be made to wear signs so that drivers can see them more clearly.

I have no idea how he even thought that this was a workable scheme. What’s he going to do? Send crack teams of animal taggers out into the bush with a lorry full of flourescent cycle jackets and a tranquiliser gun?

There was also some discussion about snakes and the difficulties surrounding fashioning signs for them, but the man who came up with the bright idea said they should be exempt, as they don’t tend to cause accidents. Well, thank the lord for that - the world doesn’t need an industry built around knitting reflective body warmers for spitting cobras.

So in another parliament debate about reducing road accidents recently, another Swapo MP tabled a motion that suggested increasing the speed limit to 160km per hour for people who have big cars. In his opinion, making people who drive top of the range cars stick to the speed limit of 120km per hour is more dangerous, because “if one has experienced driving any of these cars, you will agree that you are likely to fall asleep driving at 120 km/h, because the car does not seem to be moving. This is dangerous because the driver can easily fall asleep under such circumstances, thereby creating a danger to other road users.

So, basically, if you’re rich enough to afford a smart car, then you should be allowed to hit unmarked animals at almost 100 miles per hour.

I suppose at least your family will be able to afford a decent burial.