In which I get fed up with meditation for the last time
“When we first were born to earth, in the spiritual golden age, it was a paradise. We were pure beings. Our souls were so pure we gave off a kind of fragrance, like a flower, or fresh grass. We controlled matter, and we were serene…â€
I’m trying to listen without looking too skeptical. In my head, unbidden, appears an image of stinky, hairy cavemen galloping about the prehistoric plains after woolly mammoths and whacking each other with clubs. I get the impression that evolution doesn’t really fit in to this whole quasi-religion this guy’s got going on here.
We sit through 20 minutes of god-focused guided meditation, in which we go back to find our pool of tranquility, so that we can absorb the love of the supreme being, and wash our souls clean of negativity.
Whereas before, I happily sploshed about in my inner tranquil pool, this time I’m stamping about on the shore, waving my arms about and shouting “But I like myself. I don’t want to go round loving everyone. Lots of people are horrible and don’t deserve it, and anyway I’d be boring, and people would tell me to fuck off after about three minutes of my insufferable beatificality. And anyway, I have friends and family that love me – why do I need some bloody orange blob of pulsating light to shower me with unconditional love? No thanks. I’m off.â€
It’s not very relaxing, and it’s starting to make me feel a bit fed up. I just can’t escape the feeling that I am being indoctrinated, that I am supposed to accept all this without question, and if this is the nature of faith, then I just can’t do it. I put my hand up, and ask where atheism fits in – I just want to know if there is a way of meditating that doesn’t involve communing with a god I don’t believe in.
Oh, atheism doesn’t fit in, I am told. Apparently many of the problems in the world today are caused because of people’s lack of faith. I mean, of course! Atheists are the ones setting fire to each others temples, and killing people in the name of god. I must change my ways at once.
He then goes on to say that he doesn’t believe that atheists can be good, morally sound people. I didn’t really expect to encounter this, and I’m offended. Someone pipes up from the back and informs me that if I am not for god, I am for the devil. I turn round and tell her that seeing as I don’t believe in either of them, it’s a little difficult for me to accept this.
I’m feeling that perhaps meditation isn’t having the calming effect that my homeopath hoped it would, but at least I’ve realized that I like myself. I respect myself. I generally enjoy being me, and I wouldn’t want to be anyone else.
This is a positive step, I think.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
a few ejits in that class I think. Meditiation doesn’t HAVE to have anything to do with god. I laughed (alot) at the vision of you stamping around in the pool! At a yoga class I used to go, to the teacher had a way of saying ‘relaaaax’ that made me want to punch her. Buy a CD/tape and meditate at home.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Agree with above. But, hang on…I thought once you took that metal rod out of your spiritual being, all things were supposed to improve?!
March 8th, 2007 at 9:55 am
You beleive you have family that love you!!! With delusions like that you should see a therapist.
March 8th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Good for you. What a load of old bollocks. New age, crystal worshipping, Garden of Eden, mystical horsehit. Humans didn’t evolve through bathing in their inner pool of tranquility. We got to where we are through anger, determination and sheer survival instinct, not holding hands and dancing together in fields full of daisies. The world is a nasty place and an awful lot of its inhabitants are stupid, boring and not worth the effort. (Or, in the words of Bill Hicks, “We are a virus with shoes.”) That’s all we need to know. Anger is an energy, to quote PiL.
March 8th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Amanda - I’m going to! I’m not going back there, partly because after the end of the class he kept me talking about absolute nonsense for 25 minutes while I tried to make a break for the door.
LCG - all was well, til I started attending bloody religious meditation classes. Sheesh.
Chris, you are so funny! You should know not to goad me when I’m in a fragile mental state. I might crack and have to come and stay in your spare room, shouting for food and causing trouble. (For readers of these comments, Chris is my brother. Isn’t he a hoot? It’s no wonder I’m in therapy.) And while I’m at it, more photos of my nephew please.
Citizen Sane - I know. It infuriated me. I like the Bill Hicks quote - I might put it on my wall at work.
March 8th, 2007 at 11:57 am
I’ve always thought that ‘the point is, there is no point’. Just enjoy the journey from point to point if you get my point. Unfortunely there isn’t a script. Mind you I’m a rotten father and give really bad advice - just ask papersurfer.
March 8th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Am I requoting yourself back at you when I say “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with their experience” ??? I can’t remember where I read that recently, but it made me laugh. And sadly I have had cause to say it more than once recently too. And don’t get me started on God Squads. “Oh you are atheist. That’s a materialist isn’t it? You are only interested in capital things.” Cue to self to repeat above quote…
March 8th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Atheists are the best.
Because they don’t expect anything from heaven or hell, they wander through life knowing that they are the only ones reponsible for good or bad.
That gives them a sharp sense of humbleness and responsability.
Just like God himself.
March 8th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Daddy Papersurfer, that seems like pretty good advice to me. Really, I was just looking for a way to relax a couple of times a day - I wasn’t looking for a point. I had one foisted on me in a most annoying way.
Clare - I wish I had said something that witty. I will remember it.
Uncle Did - I realise that. This is why I need no God. I am godlike enough.
March 8th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
[...] Original post by Rachie [...]
March 9th, 2007 at 3:38 am
I love the blog that you have. I was wondering if you would link my blog to yours and in return I would do the same for your blog. If you want to, my site name is American Legends and the URL is:
http://www.americanlegends.info
If you want to do this just go to my blog and in one of the comments just write your blog name and the URL and I will add it to my site.
Thanks,
David
March 9th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Hi Rachie - late as ever but good on you! Patronising twerp
I can’t meditate - too twitchy, so I’m clearly off to hell in some kind of bag.
If I believed in it…