google
yahoo
bing

3 4 things

1. I am so tired that my face feels like a mask, behind which is only fog. My boss just came into the room to find me staring blankly at my computer.

2. I got in a taxi this morning, to go and collect my bike from a friend’s house, to find that my taxi driver had Bryan Adams singing ‘Have you ever really loved a woman’ on repeat. Every time, it stuck at 4 minutes and 29 seconds, and the car was filled with Bryan singing ‘really-eally-eally-eally-eally ev-ev-ev-ev-ev-ever love-ov-ov-ov-ov’, until the driver switched it back to the beginning. I was convinced that I was in a specially designed version of hell, from which escape was impossible. I nearly clawed my own ears off.

3. As I was riding my bike to work this morning, I got leered at and wolf-whistled by a cretinous-looking man in a fiat uno, into which I’m convinced his mother has to shoehorn him every morning, after she’s given him his crustless sandwiches, and spit-cleaned his big old shiny face. The indignity.

4. I’m in a really, really bad mood.

That is all.

7 Responses to “3 4 things”

  1. Danny Says:

    Bryan Adams always cheers me up, Rach. Give him a go. Or maybe it’s a Canadian thing. Actually, as you know, I’ve been a bit of an emotional basketcase myself this week and I have only been able to find solace and comfort in Cher on repeat. I think the woman has healing powers. I kid you not. The only smile that’s graced this cold face all week has been after Cher belted out ‘Love is a lonely place without you, I miss you, and your almost here and I’m almost touching you, love…” Or maybe it’s a gay thing. Try alcohol?

  2. Uncle Did Says:

    That’s a gripping good start for a book.
    I can’t wait to read the rest…

  3. Jennifer Cascadia Says:

    Bring back Cyndy Lauper.

  4. Citizen Sane Says:

    They use Bryan Adams as an interrogation method at Guantanamo Bay. Waterboarding wasn’t getting the required results, so they instead strap enemy combatants down and subject them to Everything I Do (I Do It For You), The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You and that truly horrendous one he did with Sting and Rod Stewart (now there’s a threesome that could compete with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – sweet Jesus). They all crack within about ten minutes, reduced to gibbering wrecks.

    Cher? Must be a gay thing. God only knows who buys her records. Listening to a Cher song is the only time I ever envy the deaf.

  5. Rachie Says:

    Danny, you are a sick, sick man. It’s only because you don’t love Celine Dion that I feel we can put Cher aside in terms of our friendship.

    Uncle Did, I will consider it, I really will. I shall study it until an idea for a plot springs from it, fully formed.

    Jennifer, precisely.

    CS – I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. Bryan Adams is second only to Celine and Cher in making me wish I was dead whenever I hear them, so I can sympthise with those Guantanamo inmates.

  6. mel Says:

    how about nik kershaw’s ‘i won’t let the sun go down on me’?? always puts a smile/nostalgic grimace on face. hope you’re feeling cheerier today sweetheart. have a lovely w’end. mx ps once brushed past bryan adams at the ica. he’s teeny..

  7. Todd Chambers Says:

    lsc2t7cnh0d5r0zs

Leave a Reply