Living for Disco

The other day I noticed strange pile of dust behind the toilet.  I don’t often never ever clean behind the toilet, simply because it is fiddly, and involves getting down on my hands and knees and putting my head near the toilet bowl.  However, I noticed this pile of dust because it is growing, and dust does not usually multiply itself unless it is evil in some fundamental way.  It was also covered in ants.

There have been a lot of flying ants making merry in my house recently.  They buzz around my bed at night, and drop onto my face in the dark.  A while back I heard a revolting story from a friend, who woke up one night to see a spider crawling out of her boyfriend’s nose, so I’ve been sleeping with a mosquito coil burning not quite near enough to my head to set my hair on fire.  It seems to have done the trick, but I am fed up with ants, and other kinds of bugs, invading my house.  I’m sorry to go on, but really… when will it end?

Last night, I decided to nuke the dust with Doom (The Greatest Invention In The World^tm), in case it happened to be an ant metropolis.  I now realize that this was an unwise decision, but nothing seemed to happen to it at first, so I left it, meaning to return later to sweep it up.

When I came back, armed with a dustpan and brush, the dust had vanished, to be replaced with approximately 100,000,000,000 ants.  I’ve never thought carpets in the bathroom were a good idea, particularly not if they are made entirely out of insects.  Most of them were mobile, but some were belly up, waving their little legs at the ceiling, gasping their last gasps.  It was vile.  So I nuked them all again, swept them all up, and flushed them down the loo.

This morning, however, they were back, I assume to exact their terrible revenge.  There were tons of the little fuckers floating in my bath water this morning.  They are everywhere.  It makes me want to weep.

Anyone?  Ants?  How do I get rid of them….