It’s all true…
I got this little gem from Rob. I’m feeling completely without inspiration right now, to be frank. It’s hot (see, this is the time of year I start moaning about the heat, rather than the cold), my desk is a mess, I’m knee deep in access databases and the mosquitoes are back in town, the stripey little suckers fuckers.
So this was perfect. And it’s all true, honest. Maybe one day I’ll tell you about my stint at the zoo, if you’re lucky. They used to poke chunks of raw meat through the bars, but I was a vegetarian back then, so I had to eat the straw they put down for my bedding. Ah, those were lonely, lonely days, filled with pacing and melancholy…
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Rachael!
- Rachael is worth her weight in gold - literally!
- Rachael will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music.
- If rachael was life size, she would stand 7 ft 2 inches tall and have a neck twice the size of a human.
- Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of rachael in a day.
- Rachaelocracy is government by rachael!
- It is impossible to fold rachael more than seven times!
- The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only rachael.
- If you kiss rachael for one minute you will burn six or seven calories!
- The International Space Station weighs about 500 tons and is the same size as rachael!
- Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of rachael every year.
Also, if anyone’s willing to try folding me more than seven times, you’re welcome to have a go. Please send applications with a photo and motivation letter. And jaffa cakes.
Thank you.
September 29th, 2006 at 12:27 am
The one about your twice-the-size-of-a-human neck is my favourite.
But I can’t believe the bloody book didn’t arrive!
I’m gonna send you another, free of charge.
Cos I’ve got hundreds of the buggers cluttering up the spare bedroom, and they’re better off there than here.
September 29th, 2006 at 3:11 pm
Yeah, I like the one about the neck. The moles are a pain in the butt though.
Thanks for the book! I’m all excited again now. I’m really looking forward to reading it.
October 1st, 2006 at 3:59 am
I think it’s all a myth, ‘cos Lisa was supposedly also the sole occupant of that American zoo.
However, I am prepared to test the truth of some of the other statements, especially #2 and #8, probably simultaneously.
If both #1 and #9 are true I think I’m in love.
But I still want to know why I’ve never seen any of my city’s 3 tonnes pa of Rachel.
Now: bring me a milking machine and a Led Zeppelin CD….