Michael, row your boat ashore
One of the headlines in today’s Namibian reads ‘STILL NO SIGN OF MICHAEL S’. Michael S’s disappearance also made headline news on Friday, a colour photograph splashed across the front page.
Who is Michael S, you may wonder, and why has his disappearance caused such a ruckus? People disappear all the time, and they’re usually given an inch square spot at the bottom of page 7, underneath the week’s suicide roundup.
The reason that this is such a headliner is that the Michael S is a ship. It’s not a nice little skiff that you can putter about in on a Sunday on the lagoon, or even a fancy, speedy millionaire’s yacht, its bilge tanks awash with champagne. It’s a big, fuck-off carrier ship, approximately the size of Buckingham Palace*, and someone, last weekend, stole it from Walvis Bay harbour.
It emerged from dry dock, freshly repaired after a nasty collision four months ago that sank it. Pretty much before you could say ‘anchors aweigh’, two security guards were thrown overboard (with their luggage – thoughtful people, those ship-rustlers) and the ship steamed off into the night, headed for the dark coastal waters of Angola.
My first thought on seeing it was ‘How the fuck can someone make off with a ship that big, and not be found?’ Actually, that was my second and third thought also. I know the sea is pretty large and all, but if they think they know where the ship is going, how can it be so hard to locate? – it’s not a bloody dinghy.
Does this sort of thing happen a lot?
*probably
July 24th, 2006 at 8:43 pm
Hi there, and thanks for the blog.
Mark my words: inside job. All big thingies in that part of the world are.
esa (zm 02-05)
July 25th, 2006 at 3:23 am
golly.
July 25th, 2006 at 4:35 am
What a hoot! Modern day pirates! No very bright ones, hard to sneak into the hidden cove in something as large as a city block!
July 25th, 2006 at 7:16 am
Ah, Namibia. I am not surprised that Michael S has disappeared. Remind me to tell you some time about the Air Namibia plane….
July 25th, 2006 at 11:38 am
esa – you’re welcome! I think you’re right – there’s been some muttering about the captain of the boat, who has mysteriously left the country. The fact that he lives in Cardiff only makes him seem all the more guilty.
Kat – I know! And they have to stop and refuel – I mean, how many places can you stop and refuel that are nice and secluded?
Clare – please do. I am longing to hear that story!
July 25th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
What you do is, you steam up the coast to somewhere ickle like Togo or Burkina Faso, and then you embark the whole bloody nation onto your ship. Then you don’t need to hide the Michael S in Burkina Faso because it IS Burkina Faso. And you get a seat at the UN and get to park on double yellow lines and everything.
Alternatively, you find a corrupt diplomat who will smuggle your ship out of Namibia in his diplomatic bag. They just tie a seal round it and it officially disappears.
You could combine the two approaches but I suspect the fabric of space-time would rip.
July 26th, 2006 at 9:40 am
You just made me splutter tea all over my keyboard.
I have to say, the image of smuggling Burkina Faso out of Africa in a diplomatic bag is not one I ever thought I’d have. Thank you.
July 26th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
This story is freaky! Namibia sounds scary!
July 26th, 2006 at 4:52 pm
Christer – it’s really not!
July 28th, 2006 at 10:40 am
Maybe it was nicked by the same guys that stole my canoe.
Maybe not, eh?
July 31st, 2006 at 12:37 am
I understand that the crew were so sex starved that they mutinied and forced the Captain to steam towards Pataya Beach – Thailand – where they could all pick up cheap hookers + beer -
In fact, not a bad idea at all – Cheers !
October 1st, 2010 at 1:21 pm
we always use the Koten brand of circuit breakers at home and they are good~:*
October 18th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
our circuit breaker is always manufactured by General Electric and they last very long–~