Coffee and Commuting
The man with the noisy Hawaiian shirt is sitting on the floor by the door. I only notice him when he begins to laugh like a cartoon villain. Everyone looks up, startled, from their laptops, and begin to smile. Then they look down and continue to drink their scalding coffee.
My iPod is playing Good Vibrations, and I want to sing along. This is against the rules, so I sing in my head. It’s unsatisfying.
The man next to me is reading the Sun. He’s not all that large, but he seems to take up half of my seat in addition to his. His paper keeps dipping gently over my computer screen. As he jabs me in the ribs to turn his page, I notice that Wayne Rooney’s other half, Colleen McLoughlin, is confused about why she’s been labelled a chav. Oh, and Brad and Angelina are having it off in Kenya, apparently. I love the Sun’s approach to ‘news’.
I don’t get much work done. The countryside is too beautiful, and I’d rather watch the bright fields of yellow rape pass outside the window. They always look as if the sun is shining on them, even when the sky is low and dark.
The journey is punctuated by coughs and sneezes, and by Hawaiian Shirt’s occasional belly laughter. No-one speaks, but the couple in the seats opposite me are conducting a silent conversation through winks and nods, frowns and smiles, that both of them find amusing. I’m mesmerised.
The woman opposite begins to try quietly to remove the free ‘Top 50 Gardens to Visit in 2005’ supplement that is taped to the front of her magazine. The noise is making people stare; she’s very self-conscious and withdraws, snail-like, into her seat. She eventually goes for the sticking-plaster method, ripping it off with abandon, and narrowly misses flinging coffee all over Mr Sun. He jabs me in the ribs again, and coughs. I wipe saliva off my screen, and decide to read my book instead.
When we arrive at King’s Cross, people pour from the train in a silent stream. I notice that Hawaiian Shirt is wearing sandals at least three sizes too big for him. He’s a large man, but he has very tiny feet.